My Heart Says...

Pic, pic & more pic....

2008-10-06T14:51:00.005+08:00

Umrah d' Mekah, June 2008

Raya 2008 celebration

Too lazy to write anything after a longggg break so enjoy the pics...

2008-09-23T11:16:00.005+08:00

Every beginning is the end of something else and vice versa...

The beginning of this beautiful relationship that I currently have is definitely the end of lonely singlehood that I stucked for what i thought forever....

In the midst of my boredom day... I thought about ending this dullness by starting something that I tried a few time before but couldn't get myself to conclude it yet... There's a time that when you get at one point in your life, doesn't matter whether it's ur career life or social; you felt like "enough if enough" feeling and nothing can ever motivate you back... I'm guessing that I'm entering that zone now...

I am happy with my life now... but being me, I need something, some target, objective in my life that I need to achieve/ accomplish before.. say maybe my 30th birthday... I am not good in wandering around without having any goals or purposes...even when I'm driving, I'll set a target and technique so I'll arrive at planned time and planned destination...

I want to have a balance life... to succeed in both world, career n love... But why I feel like when i gain one, another will slip away?

Spiderweb....

2008-09-19T16:54:00.004+08:00

Been away from my blogzone for awhile... just dont have the feeling n rite mood to update... what am I doing now? enjoying the ramadhan mood with my friends, family n love one...Cant wait to drive back home next week... and also missing my mama's nasi daging...

Strategic Planning Teambuilding - Bridging the Gap

2008-08-21T18:38:00.007+08:00

Been away from my workstation for 3 days... Enjoying me self while trying to build up a positive amphosphere among the division staff & also to narrow down the communication gap between us... Glad to have sporting Boss & colleagues... So... Enjoy the pics!

Copycat!

2008-07-30T12:01:00.002+08:00

I hate copycat! think of ur own ideas and style please... please let others like or love you the way u are not the way u try to imitate other... even if they like u pun, it's not u but the person u try to be...sooner or later, u'll be tired of pretending... do be original...be urself...

Am I?

2008-07-30T09:19:00.004+08:00

How great will it be if I can not to think and analyze about everything!

I hate to admit it but I am starting to regret about something I did in the past that maybe had affect my current life… Looking back, will my path of life now change if I make different decisions before? Since I am not a kind of person who likes to live in the past, so why am I in this flashback mode?

Recently, a lot of things have been going on in my life… Some are good things, some not too good…some also a mixture of both…some even make me confused and keep on changing my opinion everyday whether it’s a good thing or not really…

As a green person in personality, I am a thinker and will always analyzing everything I do, will do and did…. Though the events has passed still I will analyze whether the outcome will be better if I make a different choice…I am so conscious about what others think about me and I do have my own opinion about everything and nothing!

And as a cancer by zodiac, I had been label as changeable, moody, over-emotional, touchy, clinging, unable to "let go," and a tendency to wallow in self-pity. Also I’d been advice to learn to get things into a proper perspective and take a realistic view of life. I maybe agree with this as sometimes when I’m too deep into my analyzing mode I do make an unrealistic hypothesis about something so simple and plain…

After writing this, do I feel relieve? A little bit maybe…. Regret it? Not sure yet, still thinking and analyzing it after I reread it a few times …will I delete this entry in future? Depends on the consequence after I publish it…hope not…

But not matter how much I regret about my past decisions still I had to face and patiently go through with my life now… What left for me to do is make a good thing out of it and don’t forget to enjoy the journey!

Dear Mama....

2008-07-28T13:50:00.010+08:00

As the only girl in the family, I'm so super close with my mama... to call & update her my everyday life is a must....

I am so used to her nag when I ain't listen to her advise...

so used to her laugh when i tell her funny stories...

I am so used to her motivated words when I am down...

so used to her tears when she's hurt...

to gossip with her about almost everything around her & me...

to share with her my trouble and hers...

to cry on her shoulder while she comforting me with her smile...

but now...

since more than a month now...

I miss her nagging me...

I miss her comforting words...

I miss her... I miss everything that she used to be to me....

though I still have her as she is now...

I really hope that she will get well soon...

cos i cant take it any longer...

the burden inside that i've been ignoring...

with the thought that once she's ok..I'll tell her about my sorrow...

about all the trouble... about all the sadness and worry....

since she's the only one i trust with my life....

Mama...

I love you...

no matter what happen to you...

my love for you will always stay the same...

as I told you before...

I'll take care of you...

till my last breath...

Promises...

2008-07-21T16:12:00.002+08:00

Promises are like babies: easy to make, hard to deliver.

Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once.

A promise made is a debt unpaid...

Promises are like the full moon, if they are not kept at once they diminish day by day.

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.

Again...it's Mysha time!

2008-07-17T15:54:00.003+08:00

Her sweet smile...like her 'mummy'...
Soundly asleep..so peaceful....
crying at her ummi asking for her bottle....
her big round eyes...itu yang mengundang rindu :)

Sempurna...

2008-07-17T15:50:00.001+08:00

currently....

2008-07-16T19:03:00.002+08:00

when u had love then u lost it then after awhile u found love back...
definitely u hope that u'll hold it till the end...

I had love....long time ago...real love...love that i tot my soulmate...
then i lost it...so deeply hurt...til i tot it will never can be heal...
but now i found love...new love...
love that i hope will stay for good in my heart and my life...

its seem that everybody around me also sense the existance of love inside me...
as this smile always shine on me face...
as the words that came out from me mouth are as sweet as lolipop...

so hard i pray to always have u in my life....
so please dear...do stay....

Sweet memories...

2008-07-03T11:45:00.003+08:00

A Journey to look forward to....

2008-06-06T11:24:00.002+08:00

To experience the most unforgetable journey of ur life with ur love one (my family) is what i've been looking for and i'll be enjoying it in less than 24 hours from now...

To come back with a new me (i pray) is what I hope i'll get with this journey...

So...

To my dear....

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again (in two weeks time)...
Oh, babe, I hate to go

I'm ...There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

Tschus!

Lost & Found....

2008-06-05T17:16:00.006+08:00

I thought i found him when....

He is willing to drive hundred miles just because of me (once when we were in S Alam n i told him i want to have nasi briyani insaf at Jln TAR, he drive w/out complain)...

He is trying his best to please me (everyday without fail)...

He didn't mind the fact that i am super duper lazy (but he did say that will try to change this fact eventually)...

He succeed in persuading me to meet his parents n family (first time ever in my life!)...

He makes me think for the future (plus the fuel price hike, need to budget my expanses too!)...

So now my heart is so berbunga-bunga riang...

fuel price hike...

2008-06-05T17:07:00.001+08:00

Among funny pictures i received this morning regards to fuel price hike...

Introducing.....

2008-04-21T20:52:00.004+08:00

My first & foremost niece just arrived in the family on 30th March 2008.

Named as Mysha Nabeeha bt Mohd Nubli by her mummy (that's what she will be calling me once she start mumbling)... She's so cute with her big round eyes and dimples on both of her cheeks. can't wait for my next trip back home to meet you my sweet little darling... mummy misses you so much dearie...hope that u'll bring more joy & happiness into the family darling...

I Miss You...

2008-04-21T20:24:00.000+08:00

Relaxation....

2008-04-20T21:24:00.006+08:00

At this moment, rite now..what i really wanna do is to just close my eyes..empty my mind..lay down at some place so peaceful (refer pics above)...Will try to do that at least before year end... i hope..

Dear me...

2008-04-18T23:10:00.002+08:00

Part (1)
When he is not the one...
5 min seems like forever...
You have to drag yourself to walk besides him...
and sometimes purposely...
let urself be left far behind...

When he is the one...
Forever seems just like 5 min...
Trying ur best to look good...
So he wont mind to be seen with you...
Anything doesn't matter as long as...
He's by ur side...

Part(2)
Currently I love this song, mercy by Duffy....Do i need to ask mercy from anyone? Nope. Just from myself. (Do move on. Pls stop torturing urself by thinking things u r not supposed to think or not the time yet...pls enjoy n have fun with ur life... I love u...before u start to love someone else, love me first...)

I love you
but i gotta stay true
my morals got me on my knees
i'm begging please stop playing games

i dont know what this is
cos you got me good
just like you knew you would

i dont know what you do
but you do it well
I’m under your spell

You got me begging you for mercy
why wont you release me
you got me begging you for mercy
why wont you release me
I said release me

Now you think that i
will be something on the side
but you got to understand
that i need a man
who can take my hand yes i do

i dont know what this is
but you got me good
just like you knew you would
i dont know what you do
but you do it well
I’m under your spell

Single anyone?

2008-04-13T22:33:00.006+08:00

When being asked why am i still single, my standard answer will always be still searching for my Mr Right. But am i really in searching mode right now?

Yesterday something came over me...make me rethink again about something... I am still not really searching for someone to spend my life together with cos once i've been told that always expect the unexpected n' love..especially love always hide from u when u search for it n u will always found it when u less expected...

But that's not the thing that me rethink...

I am not just searching/waiting for my Mr Right but also I am trying to find someone that I can really trust, enuf for me to jeopardize my life in his hand...I must admit that I have a trust issue..BIG time! always doubt about how others feeling toward me... Sometimes even to the point that arguing with myself why he wants to be with me in the first place when he can spend his time with other pretty women...

But, I dont blame myself for that...they(refer to the boys/men) always give me a GOOD reasons to not to trust 'em...yeah rite..they are not lying just not telling the truth(what they always say)... U'll mad at me if i told u the truth (of course, that's why u need not to do it in the first place)...

So, to summarize this what i need to do is.....NOTHING....Maybe i'll try to focus more on my work n along the way if i found someone who want to tag along in my journey n he is worth to be trusted then i'll give him a chance to get to know me better...before he makes any promises or gives any hopes...B'cos i tell you..i am one crazy @ mentally disturb girl, so they needs to be warned first :)

what u shouldn't do to ur precious life...

2008-03-27T21:08:00.003+08:00

u shouldn't risk it for something that not worth to risk ur life for...
u shouldn't trade it for someone else...
u shouldn't neglect it even just for a glimpse...
u shouldn't block others who love u from entering it...
u shouldn't allow others who will ruin it to even knock the door...
u shouldn't hate it because u thinks others have a better one...
u shouldn't left it alone unaccompanied...

Life's not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow.
~Cherralea Morgen

I am, know & want...

2008-03-24T17:53:00.004+08:00

I am more focus now...
Already told my heart to stop daydreaming...
Already sent signal to my brain to start working smart...

I know what I want now...
At least for time being...
At least I have something to look forward to now...

I want to stop being foolish and start acting like an adult now...
To think before I start promising something I cant fulfill...
To think before I regret of what i've done...

But still I'll not stop hoping for YOU!

Daydream...

2008-03-23T16:15:00.002+08:00

could have been the one you noticed

I could have been all over you

I could have been like all the others

Is that what I'm supposed to do?

It would have been really stupid

If I woulda went home with you

To give you everything you wanted

It would have been way too soon.

I try to be sensitive, I try to be tough

I try to walk away

I try to be innocent, I try to be rough

But I just want to play.

Your my Day Dream

Now that I've been thinking about you

Lately everytime I look at you

I can't explain, I feel insane

I can't get away?

Your my Day Dream, ya

And you know, you're making me insane.

And you know you're doing it again.

Lately...

2008-03-06T15:06:00.003+08:00

Missing my mama...a lot lately....

Lately...i've been thinking about life...to be specific about my life...

My life lately...so so...there's ups & downs...

I am gaining some weight lately so need to restructure my diet back...

Thinking about what u've been doing there seldom i do lately...

Lately i realised that i am still lost in my own world...

also lately i found myself still much confused with what i really want in my life...

Lately....

have u ever ask urself....

2008-02-28T12:36:00.002+08:00

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

I am sorry...

2008-02-28T12:26:00.001+08:00

There's one sad truth in life I've found...

While journeying east and west...

The only folks we really wound...

Are those we love the best...

We flatter those we scarcely know,

We please the fleeting guest,

And deal full many a thoughtless blow...

to those who love us best...

~Ella Wheeler Wilcox~

waiting...

2008-02-24T16:20:00.003+08:00

i am waiting for something very important to happen...
something that can change my life forever...
as i am eagerly want my life to change...
cos my life story keep on repeating the same script...
maybe with this minor change will redirect my path to something meaningful...
maybe it will lead me to something i really need...
maybe i need to leave something behind...
to be able to gain something more important...
it is not that i dont appreciate what i have now...
just i dont think it enuf..i want more..more of everything...

Love...

2008-02-18T19:14:00.003+08:00

Love is not blind but people who fall in love are...
Some say that all fair in love and war but...
Is it still fair when your heart broke?
Is it still fair when your dream collapsed?
Is it still fair when you were left alone?

...

2008-02-16T18:08:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it's better to not know than to know about something that can directly hurts ur feeling....
Sometimes something is better left unsolved and unknown...
Sometimes it's better to not to think about something...
Sometimes to always be together doesn't mean u happy...
Cos sometimes it doesn't mean u hungry when u eat; and u stop eating definitely doesn't mean u full...

Pretender..am I good at it?

2008-02-15T20:08:00.003+08:00

To pretend that I am okay when you are on the phone with others is so hard for me to do...

To pretend that I didn't notice when you replying others smses is so hard for me to do...

To have a bubbly talk with you after doing something that's so hard for me to do is even harder...

To try giving you the sweetest smile while doing something harder is the hardest thing i ever done...

But...I did promise you...

So...Now I am doing the hard, harder and hardest things ...

(Please pray for me...)

over and over again...

2008-02-15T19:52:00.006+08:00

Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again.

~Rosa Parks

That's so me! Me myself always asking the same question; why i keep on falling for someone that obviously i can't have? isn't it because i'm so adventureous and always looking for something that so challenging? Or isn't it because I'm kinda person who is so tempting with something that hard to get and couldn't care less for something that i can have easily? Should i analyze myself more deeply to find where is the source of the problem? Hmmm....but, can't I just leave this matter alone and don't really bother about it cos I don' t really care....

needed vs cherished...

2008-02-15T16:50:00.002+08:00

Men felt loved when they feel that they are needed.

Women felt loved when they feel that they are being cherished.

(MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS)

to have or not to have...

2008-02-14T14:13:00.006+08:00

I've been thinking hard lately about something...
and been wondering also which one is a better choice...
to be the true love of someone life but...
he is someone else belonging or...
to have someone u love as urs but...
his heart belong to someone else..

for me both are still so painful to live ur life with...
but if i had to choose i rather choose emotionally belonging than physical...
when u know someone u love, love u back..
it's so heavenly tasty feeling u felt inside u...
but to live ur life with someone who rather love someone else besides u..
it's so torturing and meaningless...

but now sometimes i felt i am neither that nor that....
what i meant is sometimes i felt i am not with someone who wants someone else/belong to someone else..
confused? me also...
(other meaning~I am trying to be with someone who is belong to someone else who i don't think really in love or want to be with me. it's so hard and very painful. very demanding n torturing)

but i hope i will end up living my happy life with someone who adore me more than i love him ;)
who is rather to live his life alone than without me...
who love only me, myself n I...
who is never had any doubt about my love to him...
who is perfectly understand my swing and unpredictable mood...
but still i wonder...
where n how exactly i'm gonna find him?
in my dream maybe......

i wonder...

2008-02-06T23:51:00.000+08:00

have u ever wonder who will be mending ur broken heart?
have u ever wonder who will be lending his shoulder for u to cry on?
have u ever wonder who will be patiently listen to ur never ending office gossip?
have u ever wonder who will be waiting for u at the airport parking at 2am in the morning?
have u ever wonder who will be willing to share his life with u without any doubt or regret?
have u ever wonder with whom u will be spending ur old time with?
have u ever wonder?

A note from a good friend of mine on early friday morning..

2008-01-26T00:38:00.000+08:00

Dear Sarra.
Jealousy is not good. It could ‘kill’ u. As a friend.. I think its about time for u to change after 28 years leaving with it. Changes cant be done in overnight. U need time to change.
Hence.. I give u 2 years to overcome this jealousy. Lets make that as ur KPI.

I believe u can change! Why? Becoz xxx once very jealosy person. Memang jeles tahap cipan. But I managed to help him to change that.

Something I found while goggling

~~~
If jealousy is an issue in your relationship or marriage, then you already know that jealous feelings and jealousy can be frustrating, annoying, painful and even embarrassing.Any expert will agree that, if left unchecked, jealous feelings and jealousy can single-handedly destroy an otherwise good or even great relationship. Most people dealing with jealousy think they are doomed to live with it forever. We can understand why you might think that way. The reality is that we know you can stop the jealousy.
It shows up when one person or both people in the relationship are very insecure in their relationship or in life. Jealous feelings come up with a partner, or others, whose actions haven't warranted it.Whatever is going on--whether the jealousy is "warranted" or not--fear is at the bottom of those feelings and there's a lot more going on than what is on the surface. Until we look at those fears and begin to heal them, no matter what relationship we're in, jealousy will creep in again and again.In their descriptions about their jealousy challenges, many people talk about "withdrawing," "getting quiet," "becoming numb," "saying things they didn't mean" and "lashing out." These behaviors are all ways to shield, protect and insulate themselves from the pain they are feeling inside themselves. These things they are doing also create a serious impact on their relationships. If jealousy is an issue in your life, we suggest that you try to understand your behavior and what's underneath it and then you can begin to take steps to heal it.

Solutions - If you are jealous, you need to communicate. You need to stop assuming the worst and ask questions. Communicate your feelings so you can work out solutions.

Why?

2008-01-25T01:18:00.000+08:00

Why....
Oh why must i miss someone so much...
So much til i cry...
When that someone is not missing me at all...

Why...
Oh why must i wait and i wait for someone all the time...
All the time til i left nothing for myself...
When that someone never wait for me...

Why...
Oh why must i think about someone so hard...
So hard til it crack my head...
When that someone don't even think about me...

Why...
Oh please tell me why...
Why these happening to me...
Is it happened for a reason?
Is it a good or bad one?
Oh why...
Has anybody gotta answer?
Or need i seek it thru my heart myself?

So...

2008-01-24T22:57:00.000+08:00

So...

I'd lie to someone...

Am not sure intentionly or not...

But I did lie to him...

So...

I'd pretend to be someone i'm not...

Thou i know how strong I am outside & inside...

But for the sake of attention, i pretend...

So...

I'd feel stupid rite now...

Since I already know that i can't have him...

But still i want him...

So...

I'd hurt so deeply tonite...

But it's all totally my fault...my stupidity...my own mistake...

It's not someone else flaw but me self...

The only wrong he did to me was to enter my life...

To be part of my dream, but not my reality...

So...

How am I supposed to rearrange back my unstable emotion...

To realign back my conscious & subconscious mind...

As mentally I am unbalanced...

So...

At last i did type this down in my blog...

As I am no longer can hold myself together anymore...

To keep this to me self is so torturing...

I miss you truly but...

As I always say...

You are forbidden to me...

So...

That's why I am crying tonite...

Kelmarin

2008-01-21T17:39:00.000+08:00

Kelmarin ku tanya apakah salahku?
Dan jawabnya diam saja
Kelmarin ku tanya apakah kau rindu?
Dan jawabnya hanyalah pandangan hampa

Ku kira ada yang keliru
Sampai tak ada cara mengungkapkannya
Aku tak apa
Yang ringan saja

Kelmarin ku tanya apakah kau rindu?
Dan jawabnya hanyalah pandangan hampa
Dan kelmarin ku lihat gambar bekas pacarmu
Terpasang lagi jadi lukisan
Eh terserah kalau masalahnya cuma itu
Simpan saja buat arkibmu sendiri

Aku tak apa
Yang ringan saja

Jika begini jalan akhirnya
Tak perlu lagi aku berada
Jika begini namanya cinta
Biar ku cari yang lain saja

lies...lies..lies....

2008-01-02T18:53:00.000+08:00

What make u desperately need to lie?
What make u think it is okay to lie?
What influence u to lie?
What make it so easy for u to lie?
What make u think I’m okay when u lied to me?
Why u need to lie at all?
Why can’t u tell me the truth?
Why can we be honest to each other?
Why can u really mean it every words u said?
How am I supposed to deal with all your lies?
How am I supposed to react when u did not tell me the truth?
How am I supposed to treat this relationship which is based on lies?
Can I even live my life peacefully with this?

Am I supposed to answer this?

Tschus!

2008-01-01T20:30:00.000+08:00

Oooh... Oooh... Ohhh..
No matter what you say about love,
I keep coming back for more,
My head in the fire,
Sooner or later I get what i'm asking for
No matter what you say about life,
I learn every time I bleed.

The truth is a stranger
My soul is in danger,I gotta let my spirit be free to,
Admit that I was wrong and then change my mind.
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind.
I can't waste time so give me the moment
I realize nothing's broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Lived every second like it was my last one.

Don't look back got a new direction
Loved you once, needed protection.
You're still a part of everything I do,
you're on my heart just like a tattoo,
Just like a tatto,
I'll always have you.

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking ties.
When I look in the mirror,
Didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could stop
Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind.
Sorry but I gotta be strong and leave you behind
I can't waste time so give me the moment
I realize nothing's broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Lived every second like it was my last one.

Don't look back got a new direction
Loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do,
you're on my heart just like a tattoo,
I'll always have you.

If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you.
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything I do.
I can't waste time so give me the moment
I realize nothing's broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Lived every second like it was my last one

Don't look back got a new direction
Loved you once, needed protection.
You're still a part of everything I do,
you're on my heart just like a tattoo.
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you

love the song and wanna start my new year wif this song... to really start something new i need to let go some stuff from my past...this time really really let go and no turning back...i will try to be strong and stay focus...thou YOU will always be a part of me but YOU will no more be part of my life...i am so damn tired of waiting and hoping for YOU to change and start to appreciate my existance in your life but i guess that's a waste of my precious time...so my dear YOU...tschus! Goodbye for now...

1st day of 2008...

2008-01-01T11:38:00.000+08:00

With a smile I hope I will welcome my new journey to 2008 ...

But my wish aren't coming true...

So now the best thing i can do is try my best to feel good til end of the day...

Wish me luck!

Welcome 2008...

2007-12-31T11:26:00.000+08:00

Today is the last day in year 2007...The year where i started to see and realise my own strength...the year where half of it is very good whilst the other half is just so so...the year where i'm so glad to be myself no matter what..the year where i owned a few precious things and happy with my choices...

As i tried very hard to sleep last nite, i list down things that i think i need to do and accomplish in year 2008...and my final 3 are:-

(1) to lose min 5kg @ max 10kg of my current weight of 52kg now. how?

- eat balanced diet i.e no red meat, less rice n white bread & more fruits,vegi & plain water

- exercise regularly i.e more tennis, futsal, jogging,sit-up sessions.

- sleep well and be happy

(2) to read more books but not love story please...books related to my work meaning more of Kaplan & Norton's, Kellog's,blue ocean's, Potter's etc...why? so that i can easily finish all the tasks my boss gave me...meaning more time to relax kan...

(3) to stay focus at watever i do...no more hanky panky bussiness...why? so that i'll enjoy myself more at watever i do and enjoy the moment...

i hope this coming 2008 will bring more joy n happiness to me and people around me...i pray that all my family n friends wishes will come true...and i pray harder that my own wishes will come true ;)

my 2008 organizer...

i am tired...

2007-12-27T21:01:00.000+08:00

i am tired of watching tv...
i am tired of laying on my sofa...
i am tired of surfing the internet...
i am tired of driving to work...
i am tired of sitting down..
i am tired of walking around...
i am tired of reading everything...
i am tired of everyone is leaving...
i am tired of being alone...
i am tired of feeling bored...
but most of all...
i am tired of hoping for YOU!

farewell poem to my dear friends who left and will leave me...

2007-12-27T10:59:00.001+08:00

They came into your life with a big wide smile and a sincere hello…
They fill your everyday life with laughter and a story of their own…
They are the reason for you to come to work though they are not related to your work…
They are the first person you call once you arrived at the office and the last one when you leave…
You did not invite them into your life but still they came…
You did not want them to leave you but still they go…
It’s so hard to say goodbye to a very dear friends…
Friends who you know will always be there for you for better or worse…
Friends who will be happy with you and cry together…
Friends who look after you like sisters and brothers…
But nothing lasts forever…
That’s something I must admit…
For you my dearest friends…
I wish you the best of luck…
Whether near or far…
I am glad to be part of your life as you are in mine…
Sweet memories of us I’ll always remember and cherish…
Do keep in touch as I still want you to attend my wedding reception…
Though I don’t know when...
Miss you always I will….

khas buat temanku bunda...

2007-12-22T23:40:00.000+08:00

bunda...
saat sah kau menjadi isteri, kau impikan dia...
sebagai bukti cinta utuh antara kau dan arjuna...
kau dapati dia namun dirimu sekadar persinggahan padanya...

bunda...
walau sedetik kehadirannya dalam dirimu...
namun kehilangannya bisa mengalirkan butir-butir jernih dari matamu...

bunda...
walau payah untuk kau harungi harimu dengan dia dekat denganmu...
namun lagi getir hari-hari yang kau lalui di saat dia di jauhkan dari jasadmu...

bunda...
kutahu ku tak bisa mengerti hiba dan sendumu...
kerana aku tidak memikul beban di bahumu...
namun ku mahu kau sentiasa tahu...
hadirku dalam hidupmu bukan sekadar teman di saat ketawa bertamu...
namun jua di saat sedih mencengkam di kalbu...

cekalkanlah hatimu bunda...
mungkin kehilangannya hanya sementara...
bakal diganti khabar yang lebih gembira...

bunda...
kutahu kau cuba sembunyikan duka...
alirkan mutiara dari matamu jika kau suka...
akan kusapu dengan jari jemariku yang setia...
dan kemudian kita sama-sama berdoa...
semoga Allah ubatkan luka...
dan tabahkan hatimu sentiasa...
Amin...

saya menulis puisi ini khas untuk teman saya...
be strong girl...very strong...i love you and always be there for you...

tentang dia...

2007-12-22T17:48:00.000+08:00

Betapa bertuahnya seseorang itu apabila dia tahu apa yang diingini dan mempunyai cukup waktu untuk memiliki dan menikmati apa yang diingini berbanding seseorang yang tidak pasti apa yang hatinya hajati dan tidak cukup ruang waktu untuk mendapatinya.

Itulah apa yang boleh disimpulkan oleh saya setelah menonton sambil menitiskan airmata dvd ‘TENTANG DIA’. Menarik dan betul-betul membuai perasaan.

Filem ini membuatkan saya menangis di penghujung jalan ceritanya kerana ia mengajak saya bertanya pada diri sendiri apa sebenarnya yang saya cari dalam hidup saya ini dan adakah saya menggunakan sepenuhnya ruang masa yang saya ada untuk mengertikan keinginan saya.

Mungkin saya masih lagi ragu-ragu tentang keinginan hati kerana sendiri pun belum pasti apa yang dihajati.

Since I cannot predict future…
Since I am not sure with my own desire…
Since it’s still blurring in my mind about my own need…
There is nothing much for me to do…
Accept pray to ALLAH…

in between...

2007-12-17T21:15:00.000+08:00

We already in the mid of December which mean that there are only a couple of weeks left between us and 2008…I’ve been counting what have I achieved so far in 2007…nothing much actually but I still really proud of myself…but that are all in the past & for me what really matter now is what I want to accomplish in 2008. As I am still blur with I want, I left it blank first for the time being but will try to list it down before 12:00 midnight, 31 Dec 2007.

2007 is very interesting year for me. I’ve done a lot of things that I never thought I will do before. I lost and gained new friends. I still maintaining friends that mean so much to me. Meeting and dating a few good guys but still searching for the ONE. It seems that I still have problem to maintain my relationship with the opposite sex so I will not stop trying :) My relationship with my boss and colleagues are superb. We are more like one big family than just plain officemates.

Me as myself, I just found out that I am mentally unstable, have problem with commitment and trust issue and still cannot forget HIM actually thou I act like I already put him behind. I am also still confused whether the ONE I am looking for is Mr. Right or Mr. Right now. So should I put this as my priority for next year resolution? Hmmm… I need to analyze first.

As what I usually do every year, I will still list down my New Year resolution even though I know I will never accomplish all of it. But still I will do what I feel like doing in my own sweet time. Because I love my life so much and I don’t want to waste it. I’ll enjoy every moment of it with everyone I love. So, write down what you feel like doing as your New Year resolution but don’t think too much about it, just enjoy every moment of your time in 2008. Cos you will never turn back time…

confused?

2007-12-17T20:48:00.000+08:00

Sometimes even me myself didn’t recognize my own desire and need…
Sometimes I thought I know what I want until something happened and make me realized how I am so wrong about it…
Sometimes I thought I really love something so much and cannot live without it but when I did lose it, I feel nothing at all…
Sometimes I thought I couldn’t care less about something but when finally it was taken away from me, I was so miserable and lost…
Sometimes I just don’t want to know about it…
Sometimes I want to know all about it…
Sometimes I am just so tired to even think about it…
Sometimes I just want to lie quietly on my bed and tug my blanket and sleep soundly…
Sometimes I want to jump out of my bed and start running away from everything….
Sometimes I just want time to stop for a little while because it’s running so fast…
But…
Every time and all the time I never want to be anyone else but myself…

friends..

2007-12-09T17:17:00.000+08:00

Friends…
Sometimes I do question myself how I end up being a friend to someone that’s so different from myself…what make I still holding on to our friendship? Sometimes I just don’t have the answer…so I just let it be… maybe sometimes we need someone who is so different from ourselves so we can balance our lives…I don’t know, I just guessing … but I like being friend with all kind of people…I don’t judge them with what they got in their wallet or wardrobe but what they got in their heart n mind…so far, I like what I found…

Buddy…
This is someone that I can share everything and anything with… and I’ll always stick to one at a time only…this is someone who's so close to me either physically or emotionally…I’ll treat her like a family cos she is a family to me…someone that I trust n never betray me…and I also do the same to her…maybe we share some interests but not all…maybe we spend most of our time together but not all the time…someone that I’ll feel comfortable with even when we sit by each other side without any word utter from our mouth…and I valued what I got now…

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.
~Douglas Pagels

My heart says….

2007-12-05T21:20:00.000+08:00

It’s not that I don’t want to fall in love again…

But my heart says not just yet…

It’s not that I don’t want to forget u up till now….

But my heart says not just yet…

It’s not that I don’t want to trust men once more…

But my heart says not just yet…

It’s not that I don’t give chance to others anymore…

But my heart says not just yet…

What am I supposed to do when my heart says not just yet?

sarra~9:23pm,5/12/07

Infatuation....

2007-12-05T16:24:00.000+08:00

Baby, I don’t want to spend my life on trial

For something that I did not do

Maybe if you stopped and looked around some time

I wouldn’t pass right by you

Maybe it’s because you are so insecure

Maybe you plain don’t care

Maybe it’s the chase that really gets me off

Don't force it when it’s just not there

Burn another bridge, break another heart

Try again, it will only fall apart

Infatuation

Not seeing the rest of you is getting the best of me

It’s such a shame that you shot me down

It would have been nice to be around

I’m touching your skin

If it’s only a fantasy, then why is it killing me?

I guess this must be infatuation (I want it…)

Try to put my finger on what burns me up

It always seems to escape me

When you have decided that you’ve had enough

Just tell me where I need to be

Now I'm facing something that I never had

To ever deal with before

She left me with the feeling that she’d had enough

And I’m the one wanting more

Burn another bridge, break another heart

Try again, it will only fall apart

Infatuation

Not seeing the rest of you is getting the best of me

It’s such a shame that you shot me down

It would have been nice to be around

I’m touching your skin

If it’s only a fantasy, then why is it killing me?

And I guess this must be infatuation (I want it…)

I’m so attracted to you

The feeling’s mutual too

I get scared the moment you leave

Get so hot I forget to breathe, yeh

Infatuation

Not seeing the rest of you is getting the best of me

It’s such a shame that you shot me down

Would have been nice to be around

I’m touching your skin

If it’s only a fantasy, then why is it killing me?

And I guess this must be infatuation

is it...

2007-12-03T01:54:00.000+08:00

is it possible to love again?
when there's no more love to share...
is it possible to trust again?
when trust is no where to find...
is it possible to enjoy life again?
when misery is always by my side...
is it possible to give hope again?
when i'm tired of waiting...

Mein Haus...

2007-12-02T10:46:00.001+08:00

As promised, pictures of my almost furnished apartment.

Venue: SuRia SuBaNG aPaRTMeNT

CoNCePT/THeMe: CLaSSY ZeN

My living room

Mirror...mirror on the wall...

My master Bedroom

coming home...

2007-12-01T19:12:00.000+08:00

when u coming back home again...

u will definitely change every plan i'd make...

u will surely change all the feeling i kept inside me...
for a day i spend with you...
for an hour i accompany you...
for a minute i wait for you...
as this is the longest time we ever apart...
i'm not sure what to expect from the meeting...
so, until the time we finally set our eyes with each other again...
until the tentative become confirmed...
what i would do is just wait, patiently....

Meet my happy pet, heiter the tiger....

2007-11-30T12:10:00.000+08:00

adopt your own virtual pet!

A Life for a Life...

2007-11-28T14:59:00.000+08:00

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.

~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

Mentally unstable...am I?

2007-11-27T18:01:00.000+08:00

My friend once told me that i shud set a date with a psychiatrist cos she said i am mentally unstable..She told me this after i informed her bout the result of a test i took recently...

You are most afraid of not belonging

Have you ever noticed that you're more concerned about whether others will love and care for you than many people around you are? Or do you sometimes worry more than you should about being unneeded, unimportant, or even ostracized by those around you? If so, you're not alone. There are many people who share your fear of not belonging. It can be a real strength to recognize your fears. By being aware of the things that frighten you, you can assess whether fear is helping you or negatively impacting your life. For instance, a fear of not belonging may sometimes motivate you to take action in a positive way, like by being more willing to compromise than others. However, fear's negative aspects can sometimes be more damaging than you realize. Living with fear not only prevents you from living life to the fullest; it can also have a significant negative impact on your energy, health, and your close relationships if not kept in check.

shud i seek a lil help from a psychiatrist? do i need one?

company or no company...

2007-11-24T18:16:00.000+08:00

i'm not feeling well today, physically....but kinda of happy... had a very good dinner last nite wif a good company...hope u can accompany me again for another dinner or lunch, maybe...

today i jes hang around lazily at my place, doing nothing but laying on my sofa with remote in my hand and keep on changing channel from cartoon to movie to MTV and back to cartoons again...so nothing much to update...

Independent...

2007-11-19T09:37:00.000+08:00

i've been working here far away from my family more than 4 years...

i am so independent & i guess i can take care of my own self...

it's not that i dun need anyone else but i used to the idea of...

'All by myself '

'My own sweet time'

'My own space' etc...

all the decisions is in my own hand..

and i will feel suffocated if anyone try to interfere wif my life...

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.

~Bob Moawad

Unwell?

2007-11-14T13:57:00.000+08:00

All day

Staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall

All night

Hearing voices telling me

That I should get some sleep

Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on

I'm feeling like I'm headed for a

Breakdown I don't know why I'm not crazy,

I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy,

I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Me Talking to myself in public

Dodging glances on the train I know

I know they've all been talking 'bout me

I can hear them whisper

And it makes me think there must be something wrong

With me

Out of all the hours thinking

Somehow I've lost my mind I'm not crazy,

I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me I'm not crazy,

I'm just a little impaired

I know right now you don't care B

ut soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

I been talking in my sleep

Pretty soon they'll come to get me

Yeah, they're taking me away I'm not crazy,

I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Hey, how I used to be

How I used to be, yeah Well I'm just a little unwell

How I used to be

Give me a reason...

2007-11-05T13:49:00.000+08:00

Just give me a reason to hate you...
cos i cant take it anymore...
this feeling of wanting you...
every night & day...

Just give me a reason to forget you...
cos it's killing me inside slowly...
just thinking about your smile...
every now & then...

Just give me a reason to run away from you...
cos i dont want to be standing here alone...
waiting for you to come home to me...
when i knew it will never be...

Just give me a reason to stop loving you...
cos it's hurt me so...
seeing you with others...
when i knew you will never see me...

Sarra~4 Nov 07,12.19pm~

Gotcha!

2007-11-02T21:31:00.001+08:00

Why Are You Still Single?

My Result: Don't Want To Settle

You, more than others, have a fairy tale fantasy of how things should be. Ever since you were a kid, you've probably dreamed of the perfect wedding, coming home to a white picket fence, dog, and 2.2 kids (how does that work, anyway?). When someone asks what you're looking for, you don't skip a beat: You're likely to have a handy checklist that details your perfect partner. Hair and eye color, height, religion, education, career, interests, the list goes on.

While it's great to have standards — Hey, you shouldn't have to settle, after all — there's one slight glitch in your master plan: No one has made the grade in real life — at least not yet. Next time you're out with someone, keep yourself from mentally checking that list, and give love — and others — a chance. That special someone who you've written off may be perfect for you after all...

Take this test >

...

2007-11-02T20:49:00.000+08:00

Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.

~Robertson Davies

Everywhere...

2007-10-31T09:51:00.000+08:00

Turn it inside out so I can see

The part of you that's drifting over me

And when I wake you're, you're never there

But when I sleep you're, you're everywhere

You're everywhere

Just tell me how I got this far

Just tell me why you're here and who you are

'Cause every time I look

You're never there

And every time I sleep

You're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

You're everything I know

That makes me believe I'm not alone

I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel

It's hard to think that You might not be real

I sense it now, the water's getting deep

I try to wash the pain away from me

Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

You're everything I know

That makes me believe I'm not alone

I'm not alone I am not alone

Whoa, oh, oooh, oh

And when I touch your hand

It's then I understand

The beauty that's within

It's now that we begin

You always light my way

I hope there never comes a day

No matter where I go I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

You're everything I know

That makes me believe I'm not alone

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I catch my breath It's you I breathe

You're everything I know

That makes me believe I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see

So tell me

Do you see me?

Procrastination...

2007-10-30T17:29:00.000+08:00

what will u get when u procrastinate? all the works and things dat need to be done a day, a week or even a month earlier will haunt u back as ur worst nightmare....arghh.....

Just a glance...

2007-10-29T12:37:00.000+08:00

sneak preview of my new apartment....not complete jes yet but i wanna share it wif my friends still anyway....enjoy....

At the corner of my living hall

my dining table
my dining corner

my incomplete living hall part 1

my incomplete living hall part 2

the "killing" scenery

Today...

2007-10-26T21:35:00.000+08:00

when i look deep into my heart...
when i carefully listen to my heartbeat...
i thought i know what i really want...
i thought i know me the most...
so i dont really listen to what others said...
and what they keep telling me always...
until i realised that i am wrong...
and how stubborn I can be sometimes...
so today i promised to myself...
be as flexible as u can be...
try to adapt to your environment without affecting what ur belief...
and make an effort to trust people you love...
insyaallah they will not betray you...
Amin....

The man of my dreams...

2007-10-26T12:15:00.001+08:00

Who's the Man of Your Dreams?

My Result: A Secret Agent

Mystery and intrigue — it's not just for action-adventure movies. It's what you are looking for in life and love. From spontaneous weekend getaways to notes stuck in your jean pockets, you love being surprised and appreciate the extra thought and effort that goes into making it happen.

That's why a secret agent could steal your heart — he's got what it takes to change the world, but he's not about to go around shouting about it. But don't worry, your secret's safe with us. Shhhh.

Take this test >

Color of my life...

2007-10-24T18:20:00.000+08:00

Bright Red—Optimistic, dynamic, energizing, exciting, sexy, intense, stimulating, aggressive, powerful, energetic, dangerous

Burgundy—Vigor, elegance, richness, refinement, leadership, maturity, expensive

Blue—Truth, healing, tranquility, stability, peace, harmony, wisdom, trust, calm, confidence, protection, security, loyalty

Green—Nature, envy, healing, fertility, good luck, hope, stability, success, generosity

Brown—Stability, masculinity, reliability, comfort, endurance, simplicity, friendship

Light Pink—Love, romance, softness, delicacy, sweetness, friendship, tenderness, fidelity, compassion

Bright Yellow—Cheeriness, joy, action, optimism, happiness, idealism, summer, hope, imagination, sunshine, philosophy, youth

Fuchsia—Hot, sensual, exciting, bright, fun, energetic, feminine

Orange—Ambition, fun, happy, energetic, balance, flamboyant, warmth, enthusiasm, generosity, vibrant, expansive, organic

Light Blue—Peace, tranquility, quiet, cool, clean, soft, pure, understanding

Purple—Spirituality, royalty, mystery, wisdom, transformation, independence, enlightenment, respect, wealth

Navy—Dignity, credibility, strength, authority, conservative, trustworthiness, traditional, quiet, confident, serene

Beige—Earthy, classic, neutral, warm, soft, bland, melancholy

Greenish Yellow—Tart, fruity, acidy, jealousy

Lime—Tart, fruity, acidy, refreshing, lively, Revitalizing

Terra-cotta—Wholesome, earthy, country, welcoming, warmth, stability, fall, harvest

Lavender—Enchantment, nostalgia, delicacy, floral, sweet, fashion

Teal Blue—Emotional healing, pleasing, rich, protection, unique, expensive

Olive Green—Traditional color of peace, camouflage, classic, adventure

Neutral Gray—Neutral, corporate, classic, practical, cool, timeless, quiet, quality

Lagu untukmu

2007-10-24T09:56:00.000+08:00

Tiada bintang

Dapat menerangkan hati yang telah dicelah

Bagaiku lumpuh tak mampu berdiri

Aku tetap begini

Takkan berubah kerna aku tetap aku

Dan lalu rindumu bukanlah aku

Guna hati, akal dan fikiranmu

Berbeza

Kau dan juga aku

Dua hati yang tak mungkin bersatu

Apakah aku

Hanya boneka yang sering engkau mainkan

Yang dikawal oleh jari-jarimu

Ku punya hati dan perasaan

Pernahkah engkau fikirkan

Cukup cukuplah oh cukuplah

Tak faham tak tahan

Sabarku tak tertahan

Melayan sikapmu perawan

Berbeza-berbeza

Kau dan aku berbeza

Kita memang tak serupa

Bebaskan bebaskan

Ku ingin dilepaskan

Kita tidak sehaluan

Cukuplah sudahlah

Sampai di sini saja

Hubungan kita berdua

Hoa…hoa….hoa…..

simple...

2007-10-23T23:02:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately...
not sure, uncertainty really scare me...
for once in my life i'm tired of playing games...
i had enuf of challenges and dares...
i just want a simple answer to a simple question...
but i dun have gut to ask...
so i just wanna let go...
forget everything...
every single moment and memories...
lose the number & e-mail...
hopefully to lose the face & smile also...
and this time no more tears...
just a simple smile...

I Hate Myself For Loving You

2007-10-23T22:08:00.000+08:00

Midnight gettin' uptight Where are you

You said you'd meet me now it's quarter to two

I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you

Hey Jack It's a fact they're talkin' in town

I turn my back and you're messin' around

I'm not really jealous don't like lookin' like a clown

I think of you ev'ry night and day

You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why

I hate myself for loving you

Daylight spent the night without you

But I've been dreamin' 'bout the lovin' you do

I won't be as angry 'bout the hell you put me through

Hey man betcha you can treat me right

You just don’t know what you was missin’ last night

I wanna see you beggin, say forget it just for spite

I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you,

that's why I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why

I hate myself for loving you

I think of you ev'ry night and day

You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you

that's why I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself for loving you

Option...

2007-10-22T17:44:00.000+08:00

Nowadays i notice that my mind seldom thinks about other things except You...
every minute & hour...
every nite & day...
every Sunday thru Saturday...
every sms & mms & msg...
every teh tarik & chicken tandoori...
but now i have another OPTION to think about beside You...
dont be jealous yea...
My new apartment....
this is my living hall before furnish. I'll update this picture after i hang the new curtain next week yar...i love the scenery...i can see Bandaraya Shah Alam from my window...
I'm so in love wif my new place...sangat sangat....so excited to decorate n furnish my new apartment...i make everybody around me excited too... my parent, my brothers and even my close friends...even when i think bout it pun can put a smile,(the sweetest one) on my face...
Hope to sleep in my own room on my own bed very soon...

No One...

2007-10-22T17:35:00.000+08:00

I just want you close

Where you can stay forever

You can be sure

That it will only get better

You and me together

Through the days and nights

I don't worry 'cuz

Everything's going to be alright

People keep talking they can say what they like

But all i know is everything's going to be alright

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you

Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down

And my heart is hurting

You will always be around

This I know for certain

You and me together

Through the days and nights

I don't worry 'cuz

Everything's going to be alright

People keep talking they can say what they like

But all i know is everything's going to be alright

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you

Can get in the way of what I feel

I know some people search the world

To find something like what we have

I know people will try try to divide something so real

So til the end of time I'm telling you there is no one No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling

o one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you

Can get in the way of what I feel for you

home sweet home...

2007-10-19T17:23:00.000+08:00

I already added "furnishing my new apartment" as one of the reason in my current make me happy list. Yesterday & today i almost complete the process of furnishing my living room(minus the sofa) - as i bought 2 very beautiful carpets as a replacement(temporary) for the sofa...my master bedroom done already as yesterday i bought the last pieces to complete it, something what i called gradmother's drawer :)

My kitchen still pending cos i'm still in a process of decision making about the kitchen cabinet. Done the sketching n design (TQ to Rewa of course) but there's still a few thing need to be attend to...my "walking wardrobe" plak...hmmm....hmmm..... and another hmmmmm......

I like my curtain thou...cant hardly wait to hang 'em..it will be ready insyaallah by next week... sgt suka dengan langsir saya...juga sgt suka dengan carpet saya...sgt suka dengan semuanya tentang rumah saya...kenapa? sebab ia kan rumah saya...kalau bukan saya yang suka, siapa lagi?

i cant wait to actually move in into my new apartment...in a few weeks time i will...and to all my fellow friends u are invited to drop by anytime...

I'm happy - part 2

2007-10-18T10:18:00.000+08:00

I'm so happy...thou i'm a lil bit tired but still happy...and it's so good to feel happy..again....

thanks to You...You did keep ur promise...even the blackcurrant crispy chicken wings taste better wen i had it wif u...

I am looking forward to have another happy moment wif You... hope it will happen really soon... until then...i'll be good...

Clumsy..am I?

2007-10-18T09:43:00.000+08:00

I'm back! am having a blast raya wif my family and it's so sad that the holiday already ended... missing 'em much but i still need to pay my bills...so keje..keje..keje....

Recently i fell in love wif Fergie's new song, clumsy...i really like the chorus...

"You got me tripping, stumbling, flipping, fumbling

Clumsy cause I'm falling in love

You got me slipping, tumbling, sinking, fumbling

Clumsy cause I'm falling in love

So in love with you"

i must admit i do act "clumsyly" whenever i'm front of someone i really really really deeply fall in love wif...i always end up saying something i'll regret it later or not really behaving myself or i do tumbling sometimes or too control "ayu" or worst..i forgot everything at all...this is something i cannot change but i do try to improve myself...

But i wanna see it in d positive side...at least i know when i had a crush on somebody..okay la tu...as long as i'm happy kan...

The Reason..

2007-10-08T14:07:00.000+08:00

this past few days i'm feeling happy...
thou i'm not feeling well for the past few days but still i'm happy...
when the reason for u to smile is nearby, for sure u happy kan...
i'm going back to my hometown in a few days time...
cant wait to sleep on my mama's lap while she gossiping n updating me about family's affair...
thou i kinda sad a little bit cos my reason to smile maybe a little far for me to reach..
two days after raya i'll be heading back to subang...
i'm kind sad to leave my mama n abah behind...
but my reason to smile will be nearby for a while...
so it will definitely help me to feel a little bit better...
but then my reason to smile also need to leave me behind...
but i guess the memories will remain and help me to continue smiling...

Intelligent is sexy!

2007-10-02T16:17:00.000+08:00

This morning i'd being ask by my big bos & my ex-boss what kinda guy i prefer or i like..they asked me to give them only ONE criteria jer...so my answer to their question is "INTELLIGENT"...b'cos for me, guy with brain is sexy..in their own way lah...I rarely fall for handsome guy(kengkadang jer)...

i like to have an intelligent talk wif my soulmate(if i manage to get one)...for me a good communication can tighten the bonding in one relationship...i valued every conversations i used to have n still do wif my dear father...he has the answers to all kind of questions i ask him...i expect the same thing from my future partner...

i like everytime when we having this kinda open discussion...me n my bosses (big&ex)...i dun really care eventhough sometimes they like to bully me...cos i know deep down inside they care for me(he..he..he..perasan kan)...

<----but it' a bonus point for me if i can get him in this package...

Blank

2007-10-01T18:14:00.000+08:00

i have no idea ...

i dunno what to blog about...

cos i'm stil not really stable emotionally...

and if i do write...

i'm so sure it will turn out to be another sad poem...

i dun want to be label as weak....

cos i know that i'm strong...

but i do have a happy news to share...

last week i got my key...

key to my new apartment, so called home sweet home...

i bought myself a beautiful "dark chocolate" color dining table and queen bed...

does this make me happy?

i guess so....

i think i'm happy cos..

i got another things to think about besides u...

cos everytime i think about u n about all the possibilities...

i'll surely feeling down...

cos now...

i'm afraid...

i'm afraid of falling...

my sweet memory

2007-09-24T12:46:00.000+08:00

my sweet memory...
as i left you behind...
i thought that i can easily forget you...
just like how the wind blow away dried leaves...
i thought that i will feel nothing...feel nothing at all...
just like how i feel when i drink a glass of plain water...
and i also thought that i will not be missing u...not even a little bit...
BUT...
i'm so 180 degree wrong...
as forget you is hard for me to do...
and i feel like slamming my stubborn head on the wall
till all the pictures of your smile i captured escape from my mind...
and i feel so deeply unhappy...
just like a little girl would feel when her big brother steal her lolipop from her pinky mouth...
and i miss you so much...
and i feel like crying 247 non stop...
til my room fill with my precious tears and i will be drown in it...
~sarra,23:11-sunday~

these & this...

2007-09-24T11:27:00.000+08:00

these eyes are just to capture your smiling face...
these ears are just to listen to your enchanting voice...
these lips smile just for you...
this nose smells just for your sweet odour...
these hands are just for you to hold...
these feet are just to follow wherever you go...
there is only you in this dream...
as there is only you in this life...
if only i can tell you this...
~sarra,18:28-sunday~

A Vacation...

2007-09-19T12:10:00.000+08:00

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

~Earl Wilson

A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.

~Author Unknown

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

~Robert Orben

A good vacation is over when you begin to yearn for your work.
~Morris Fishbein

I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.

~Robert Louis Stevenson

Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.

~Seneca

To get away from one's working environment is, in a sense, to get away from one's self; and this is often the chief advantage of travel and change.

~Charles Horton Cooley

I am a Cancer...

2007-09-18T13:11:00.000+08:00

Cancer, the fourth sign of the zodiac, is a water sign, which signifies your highly emotional nature. Being under the sway of the element of water also makes you highly caring, generous and intuitive. You are highly evolved, even spiritual — the water signs are karmically developed and refined in spirit.

Water is malleable and adaptable. You are very much like that. You adapt when you have to, but you much prefer to make changes on your own terms.Like water, you are soothing and nourishing too. Life-supporting energies are at the heart of your character. You will act as a support for many people — in your own family and beyond.

You are for the most part a person of feeling and sensation. Often you will ignore your own judgment and rationality, and someone’s else’s reasonable advice, in favour of how you feel. You don’t care if you’re wrong, either! If your intuition tells you to do something, like reaching out to give someone a helping hand, you’ll just do it.

Others turn to you when they need a shoulder to cry on — you’ll do well in any of the caring professions. This approach is highlighted by your key life phrase, ‘I nurture’. You find it difficult to turn away anyone in need. Anyone who knows you will agree that you are one of the best people to connect with if they need advice. Friends will turn to you if they are in trouble, knowing that your sensitive and compassionate touch will lighten their load.

You are extremely receptive to your environment and the people around you, and will often ‘pick up’ people’s energies, moods and thoughts. This ability serves you well; your intuition about people is quite often correct. Your knack of knowing people’s issues before they even open their mouths attracts them to you. The difficulty with this, though, is that you can tend to absorb their emotions — negative as well as positive.

You reflect the qualities of the changing Moon. This means that at times your emotions get the better of you, and you swing from high to low. Family and friends will be well aware of this, but they will not doubt your loyalty and supportiveness.

Another aspect of the Moon that sometimes doesn’t work well for you is its maternal nature. You sometimes veer too close to the mothering/smothering lane, which can put people off.

Back on the plus side, you love to mix with all sorts of people. Social activities are an essential ingredient in your development. You are a great success socially, because you can convey your wisdom to others so well — Cancerians have very expressive faces.

Creative enterprises are a great way to make the most of your moods and your imagination. Music and writing are perfect vehicles for you. You can express the inner part of your being as entertaining literary, art or music pieces.

Cooking is also a great outlet for you. Even if you cook as a hobby rather than as a job, you will find that it balances your state of mind over time.

Sometimes you can get locked into your own private lifestyle, and only come out at full Moon. Being a recluse is not for you, though — share your talents and love with the world. Some of this is down to your love of the night.Because the Moon’s domain is the night, many Cancerians are night owls. From twilight on, your creativity starts to flow and you feel at home — you have a strong affinity with lunar energies. This is a good time to get into writing, meditating, or just walking in the moonlight. All these will energise you. You love the stillness and mystery of the night.

You are a consummate homemaker. Even men born under this sign express the ‘feminine’ aspect of their character in their love of the kitchen, and activities that make them feel secure in their domestic space.

You love to collect or keep mementos — such as scrapbooks and other bits and pieces — that bring back memories of good times and people you care about. You have a great memory, not just for facts, but also any good turn or kindness you’ve received.

You can always talk about any subject with anyone. That retentive memory is a help here, as is your impartial, even-handed approach to people generally. Dealing with people comes naturally to you: add this to your shrewdness and intuition, and you are likely to be a good businessperson. You can also use these skills in managing your day-to-day life.

Were you born between 4th and 13th July? Well, Cancer, I see you have a very deep and penetrating mind and can sometimes be overly intense in relationships. Your loyalty is unconditional and you make the staunchest of friends.

Missing my Family....

2007-09-13T16:52:00.000+08:00

i'm kinda sad sikit today cos it's the first day of ramadhan & i cant "berbuka" wif my family..it's been 4 years already for me to experience my first day of ramadhan di perantauan, away from my family...sedihnyer. B'cos i dun wanna berbuka alone, so today i'll drive back to my aunt's house in Sg Long...dun care bout the distance, i just dun wanna berbuka alone...tomorrow i'll fly back to my hometown & definitely will berbuka wif my parent...sangat suka...

Please lah....

2007-09-12T17:37:00.000+08:00

Why sometimes people tend to portray the worst bout their life then actual/reality? i hate it d most when someone telling me that he/she had financial problem but stil he/she can bought expensive things..huh? or when someone try to get my sympathy by telling me their sad love story but still i heard she/he asking others for date..double huh?or when someone telling me that he/she has nothing to do for the weekend but actually his/her plan alredi full! ooo...please lah....

for these kinda people, sorry no place for u in my precious life...i dun really like pretender...sorry yea..i rather have a few friends but with good quality than a lot of friends with no quality...My mama once said, be really carefully when u choose ur friends cos people always judge u thru which circle of friends u r coming from...

I never dreamed of being Shakespeare or Goethe, and I never expected to hold the great mirror of truth up before the world; I dreamed only of being a little pocket mirror, the sort that a woman can carry in her purse; one that reflects small blemishes, and some great beauties, when held close enough to the heart. ~Peter Altenberg

i'm so glad to have friends like mine who never pretend to be someone their not, who always say their mind out (thou they might regret it later), who cry when they sad n laugh n smile when they happy...glad to have u all in my life babes *especially u, gediks n angel+kak Z & my lil sis*( triple muahhss to u all)..i'll always value our friendship...Do knock me on my head if i ever try to be someone i'm not, boleh?

Chance or choice?

2007-09-11T17:38:00.000+08:00

When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place at the right time, That's chance.When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice. That's chance.

Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice. That's also a chance. The difference is what happens afterwards. When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?

That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance. That's choice.When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice.

Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love and stay loyal to your mate just the same, that's choice. Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance.

But true love that lasts is truly a choice.A choice that we make. Regarding soul mates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this: "Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen."

I do believe that soul mates do exist. That there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not.

To make the relationship work even when things seem stale, and when temptations abound, that's a choice you have to make.

We may meet our soul mates by chance, but loving and staying with our soul mates is still a choice we have to make.

We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love...BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly ...

someone send me this long time ago...I agree wif every words he/she wrote...it's by chance that our paths cross but it's my choice or urs whether we want to stay together or be apart...whether we want to name this relationship as friend or more than just friend...whether we would expect something from this relationship or nothing at all...whether i still want to give a try or just give up...

kekasih gelapku

2007-09-10T14:50:00.001+08:00

Ku mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orangpun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu sedalam dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku
Yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku
Yang kucari selama ini dalam hidupku
Dan hanya padamu kuberikan sisa cintaku
Yang panjang dalam hidupku
Hidupku…

i dun know why but i keep on playing this song for one whole day today...
i'm so attracted to this particular song...
maybe because this song is so close to my love life...
Maybe...

My dark chocolate...

2007-09-07T08:37:00.000+08:00

ich verpasse meine dunkle Schokolade!

Stressing myself...

2007-09-06T17:10:00.000+08:00

i dunno why i choose to stress myself today...

i had given the options but still willingly i choose to trouble myself to think bout something that i dun need to think, at least not now...to own something almost perfect and then losing it...i dunno how to handle this kind of situation...daring myself is something i should do now...dare to take the challenge of uncertainties...dare to dream of something i never dare to dream before...dare to explore the area that i never been before...

i dun mind to confess that i'm scare...that's why i cry...i like to cry..that's the best solution i had so far...

from now on i need to learn to be independent..to stand on my own two feet...to believe in myself that i'm possible to achieve whatever i plan to...so i give myself another three days to mourn and after that i'll move on...good luck!

Good bye...

2007-09-05T14:27:00.000+08:00

I can see the pain living in your eyes

And I know how hard you try

You deserve to have so much more

I can feel your heart and I simpathize

And I'll never criticize

All you've ever meant to my life

I don't want to let you down

I don't want to lead you on

i don't want to hold you back

From where you might belong

You would never ask me why

My heart is so disguised

I just can't live a lie anymore

I would rather hurt myself

Than to ever make you cry

There's nothing left to say but goodbye

You deserve the chance at the kind of love

I'm not sure i'm worthy of

Losing you is painful to me

I don't want to let you down

I don't want to lead you on

i don't want to hold you back

From where you might belong

You would never ask me why

My heart is so disguised

I just can't live a lie anymore

I would rather hurt myself

Than to ever make you cry

There's nothing left to say but goodbye

You would never ask me why

My heart is so disguised

I just can't live a lie anymore

I would rather hurt myself

Than to ever make you cry

There's nothing left to try

Though it's gonna hurt us both

There's no other way than to say goodbye

~Goodbye by Air supply~

The award of the bestest boss ever goes to you, my dear boss...

Miss u I will always be...

Remember all the knowledge u taught i will always do...

Smile for all the memories u left behind i will never forget...

Cry everytime i think of u i will always try not to...

For u know where ur place in my heart will always be...

A place where no other bosses will ever can replace...

Cos i already carved ur name in my heart....

Cause you give me something...

2007-09-04T21:53:00.001+08:00

You want to stay with me in the morning
You only hold me when I sleep,
I was meant to tread the water
Now I've gotten in too deep,
For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away.
'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart.
You already waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me,
And I can say I've never bought you flowers
I can't work out what the mean,
I never thought that I'd love someone,
That was someone else's dream.
'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
'Cause someday I might call you from my heart,
But it might me a second too late,
And the words I could never say
Gonna come out anyway.
'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart.
Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart

~James Morrison~

Just nice...

2007-09-04T18:22:00.000+08:00

i like my black coffee with two spoons of sugar...

it taste just nice for me...

i like my hair to be not too short but also not too long...

the length is just nice for me...

i like my proton wira cos it not too small but also not too big...

the size is just nice for me...

i like my new apartment cos it not too cramp but also not too spacious...

the space is just nice for me...

i like my parent cos they are not control my life wholly but still have their eyes on me...

the "control freedom" is just nice for me...

i love my life cos...

i'm not rich but not poor either...

i'm lonely sometimes but occupied some other time...

i'm sad occasionally but happy every now and then...

and it all just nice for me...

Just nice :)

Love stone...

2007-09-03T19:23:00.000+08:00

Rose quartz is pink quartz that is often called the "Love Stone." It is a stone of unconditional love that opens the heart chakra to all forms of love: self-love, family love, platonic love, and romantic love. The high energy of quartz gives rose quartz the property of enhancing love in virtually any situation. In turn, this lowers stress. All in all it is a very soothing and happy stone.

Emotionally rose quartz brings gentleness, forgiveness, compassion, kindness and tolerance. It raises one's self-esteem and sense of self-worth. It helps balance emotions and heal emotional wounds and traumas, even grief, bringing peace and calm. Rose quartz removes fears, resentments and anger. It can also heal and release childhood traumas, neglect, and lack of love, in part by enhancing inner awareness. It can help with reconciliation with family and others. Overwhelming or unreasonable guilt is eased by rose quartz.

In the psychic and spiritual realms, rose quartz is often used to attract love, and for love spells. It is also used to ease the process of transition in dying. Rose quartz can be helpful for dream recall and dream work.

The universal meaning of rose quartz is as a stone of love. This meaning of rose quartz includes love of the self (and self-forgiveness) as well as love of others. People have used rose quartz to bring forgiveness to a relationship and to replace love that might be lost in life.Rose quartz symbolizes the ability to open one's heart to love, the gentle aspect of love as opposed to the passionate.Another meaning of rose quartz is to promote healing to the wearer. It provides gentle energy for mental and emotional balance.

And i'm wearing it now! he..he..he...

My treasure...

2007-08-30T21:51:00.000+08:00

i'll be celebrating my parent's 28th anniversary this coming Saturday in Cameron Highlands... after 2 months since the last time i hugged my mama, i'll be seeing her n abah & also the new ummi n bapak to be (my bro&sis in law) & not to forget my youngest bro, adik...for now til next monday, i'm the happiest daughter n sis in the world...

i love my family so much...no words can describe it best how much i love them all...i treasure every moment i spend wif them...as i always say, they are my source of strength for me to stand and survive in this world...doesnt matter how far the distance that separate us all, we always be near wif each others in our hearts...

i am so glad n thankful to Allah for this...to have one happy family...to have mum n dad like my parent, lil bro like angah n adik n also our newest member in the family, adik iparku yg membawa sunshine ke dalam hidup angah,wanie...thanks dear...with the sweetest smile, we welcome u to our family...

i am a very simple girl with a very simple dream to have my own happy family like my parent...but sometimes to get or own something simple can be very complicated process/phase...for now, what i would do is pray to Allah that one day my dream will come true...n also like what i always say, i dont wanna rush anything...i just take a step at a time...hope not to fall or stumble again...but i know, if i do fall or stumble, i will always have my family kan... :)

to mama & abah, Happy 28th anniversary...

*b'cos of u, i'm here*

*i will always be ur little girl*

*i love u now, always & forever*

I'm happy...

2007-08-30T13:27:00.000+08:00

I'm happy...

When my alarm clock wake me up at 6.30am this morning...
I'm happy...
When i saw the sunrise from my window this morning...
I'm happy...
when i felt the morning breeze on my face this morning...
I'm happy...
When the first drop of cold water from the shower touched my skin this morning...
I'm happy...
When i get dressed this morning...
I'm happy...
When i walked to my car this morning...
I'm happy...
When i drank my teh tarik n eat my capati this morning...
I'm happy...
when i pulled out my chair and placed my laptop on my workstation this morning...
I'm happy...
when i'm doing my unfinished work this morning...
I'm happy and i cant stop smiling...
I cant stop smiling cos i'm happy...
I'm happy cos i choose to be happy this morning...
And I choose to be happy because of "U"...

You Are My Sunshine...

2007-08-28T18:20:00.001+08:00

You Are My Sunshine My only sunshine.

You make me happy When skies are grey.

You'll never know, dear, How much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away

The other nite, dear, As I lay sleeping

I dreamed I held you in my arms.

When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken

And I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine, My only sunshine.

You make me happy When skies are grey.

You'll never know, dear, How much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away.

I'll always love you And make you happy

If you will only say the same But if you leave me

To love another You'll regret it all some day;

You told me once, dear You really loved me

And no one else could come between

But now you've left me And love another

You have shattered all my dreams...

~~~~~~~~~~

This song is among a million songs i sang during my kindergarden time...with my cute pony tails and holding hands with my classmates i will loudly sing this song together with the minus one my teacher played on the casette player...those days...those happy moments i had as a six years old girl...

At that time...

The only problem i had is how to sneek out from my house to meet my friends at the playground...

the only person i hope for to spend my time with is a girl called Barbie...

The future for me is primary school...

The guy i fall in love with is the characters of Silverbird...

The amount of money that can satisfied me is RM1 to buy ice-cream conetto...

Kuala Lumpur is a place far far away from home...

But...

one thing that never change is...

my parent is still my world, my everything....the source of my strength...

i miss my kindergarden time...miss the song also...

Are you ok if...

2007-08-27T17:42:00.000+08:00

Are you ok if...
carefully you give your fragile heart to him but carelessly he broke it without bother to apologise...
Are you ok if...
u rarely trust people but for him u make an exception; but under your nose he keep on lying without even feeling guilty at all...
Are you ok if...
you dont give hope about your relationship with him but he calls u non stop, smses ur 247, care for you, sends you a bouquet of your favorite flowers but once you shows sign of falling for him, he stops doing it at once...
Are you ok if...
when u speak wih other guys he feels jealous but dont say a word about it...but you know that he's jealous and when he speaks with other girls and you tell him that you are jealous; he told u non of your business...
Are you ok if...
when you told him that you like him, he just smile...
when you told him that you miss him, he just smile...
when you want to run away, he chase you back...
when you chase him, he runs away...
when u stay still, he do too...
Are you ok?
I am not ok!

~sarra,5.59pm~

Dreams...

2007-08-23T18:06:00.000+08:00

Oh my life is changing everyday

in every possible way

And oh my dreams

it's never quite as it seems

Never quite as it seems

I know I felt like this before

But now I'm feeling it even more

Because it came from me

Then I open up and see

The person falling here is me

A different way to be

I want more,

impossible to ignore

Impossible to ignore

And they'll come true

impossible not to do

Impossible not to do

And now I tell you openly

You have my heart so don't hurt me

You’re what I couldn't find

A totally amazing mind

So understanding and so kind

You're everything to me

Oh my life is changing everyday

In every possible way

And oh my dreams

it's never quite as it seems'

cause you're a dream to me

Dream to me

~Dreams by Cranberries~

as i can remember, i always lurve this song...during my "U" time, i will hummed this song as i was walking to my class...sometimes together wif my girlfriends or sometimes just by myself...i dun really like cranberries actually but i do admire this song, the lyric, the melody..everything lah...n now something happened and has reminded me back of this song...every single words in the song...mcm kene jer...so, does it mean that i need to stop dreaming? hmmmm...i dun think so :) no harm kan kalau kiter just dream jer... until i meet something real, i will always be a dreamer...

Dreaming is an act of pure imagination, attesting in all men a creative power, which if it were available in waking, would make every man a Dante or Shakespeare. ~H.F. Hedge

What's your story?

2007-08-22T18:15:00.000+08:00

Everybody have their own story, so what' yours?

Your happy ending might be the sad ending for others

and also your sad ending might be the happy ending for others...

you are the writer of your own story...

the choice is yours...

for u can choose between good or bad...

angel or evil...

black or white...

happy or misery

rose or tulip...

coffee, tea or me? :)